i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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