Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
