I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
