Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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