ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
But break dance skills will only take you so far
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
