The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he shaved USA in his pubs
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
