i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
