Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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