Screwed.edu
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
When are your genitals available?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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