I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
