Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im six kinds of drunk right now
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
