farters have to be the big spoon...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
