Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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