Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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