Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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