you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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