Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
