Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There's always time for handjobs
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
