so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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