I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
