I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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