i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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