I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
