some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
