we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
