he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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