I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize