Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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