There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
