you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I deserve this hangover.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
