I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
