Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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