i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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