It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You pole danced in your parka.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
