I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
