We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i want to swaddle you in tequila
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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