We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
