So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
