This girl is more easily done than said...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
