Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I wear drunk well.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
