At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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