So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
