Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
