Just fell off a train. Bad.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
