People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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