i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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