I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
