I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
