New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
