He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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