ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
