i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
