i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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