I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
