no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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