i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
