Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
