your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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