can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize