Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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