Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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