what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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