I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
