I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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