It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
