in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
