i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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