Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
