I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
