I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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