Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
